20 things for 2018: The update | Did I achieve everything I set out to last year?

At the very start of last year I blogged 18 things for 2018 and so here I am at the start of 2019 reflecting back on how those things I wanted to achieve went.

I didn't quite manage everything, who does? But I did do the big things, the most important ones to me and so for that I am happy!

I'm hoping to set a similar list of goals to achieve this year too, as it was great to have something to work towards and really kept me motivated >> 19 things for 2019 coming soon!

So only the evaluation of last years goals....

Don't give a F**k about things that really don't deserve it.

"In 2018 I am going to come to terms with the fact there are some things I cannot control and things I cannot change and these are the very things I need to stop wasting time and energy on."

On the whole I think I achieved this. I did A LOT of stuff that was out of my comfort zone and really pushed me. I think there is still room for improvement though and I could definitely put more stuff into the f**k it bucket in 2019. 

A work in progress....

Start CBT.

"Picking up the phone can be the scariest of tasks to someone like me.
But I am determined to be pro-active with this. The kids go back to school tomorrow and I AM going to make that call!"

I did go to see my GP at the start of last year regarding my anxiety. I had my driving test fast approaching and was worried my anxiety would f**k it all up for me. My GP gave me a number to call for the health and well being for self-referral.

I didn't call.

Then later in the year, around August, my anxiety took on a whole new level and I ended up in hospital thinking something was seriously wrong. My anxiety started to give me physical symptoms I haven't experienced before and it all got a bit scary.

I went back to my GP who once again gave me the number for the mental health team. 

I managed to make the call this time and they offered me CBT. 

I started last week with one hour over the phone and I'll be honest, it really didn't do anything to help.
I know these things take a while but I new it wasn't for me. I missed my second session this week and missed my follow-up with the GP too.

I haven't had any physical symptoms for a while now and think I am getting a grip on things again slowly.
If I start to struggle again, I won't hesitate to call the GP again but for now, the GP is only willing to offer medications which I (and he) don't think I need and the CBT is not for me!

Attend some blogging events.

"My social anxiety holds me back from things I want to do and one of those things is any blogging events."

Yeah, this is one of those I didn't manage to achieve! 
There's no excuses or reason other than I just didn't get the time or the opportunity. 
Back onto the list for 2019 this one goes...

Worry less about what others think of me

"I need to realise that if others think bad of me, then that's there problem not mine. If I genuinely know I wasn't being rude, then that's OK. Those who know me well will know that anyway. And those that don't are worth my time (or worth my f**ks. See above ^)"

Another work in progress! Definitely improved, but could do more....

Spend less time on social media

"Social media really does fuel this 'need to please' in me. Constantly looking at peoples perfect lives can make you feel inferior at times. "

I managed to go for over a month without facebook last year at a point where things I saw and read were really getting to me for one reason or another. It was great to take a step back from it all and it did me the world of good.

I'm not really sure why I went back tbh and I'm thinking I might come off it for a break again soon.

Make the most of my time with LB

"LB goes to Nursery in April and as he's the last child I really want to make the most of my time with him before he's off and school changes him."

And I have! We've had some lovely days off together going to farms and Drayton Manor to name a few. 

Get in shape

"So 2018 is the year I need to be more pro-active when it comes to my weight/size/shape and a little less pro-active when it comes to pudding!"

Yup, this didn't happen. 

Do I care? Not much.

Read more

"I have a ton of books here and many of them are still unread. I enjoy reading and I am excited to read the ones I have here but I have just always struggled to find the time!" 

Reading 'Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine' really ignited a passion for reading in me after a long long time of having no motivation to read whatsoever. I loved the book and couldn't wait to finish it and move onto the next. I'm now onto Richard Kay's 'This is going to hurt' which is equally as addictive!

Pass my driving test

"It's not for a little while yet and I realise I may well fail, but I will not give up and will keep going until I pass. And I will pass this year. I will."

I've said this every January for as many years as I can remember. But writing this at the start of 2018 I was already ahead of all those previous years in that I was actually taking lessons, I had passed my theory and I had booked my practical.

And in April 2018 I PASSED. First time!!!!

Big fat tick for this one.

Buy a car

"So there's little point in learning to drive if there is nothing to drive around in at the end of it so this is an essential goal for me to achieve this year."

Yup! She's old and knackered and has cost me waaaay more in repairs and MOT that she should have. But she's mine!

Get married

"The wedding we had been planning may well have been cancelled in order to spend the money on much more worthwhile things for us a family.....but we are still engaged and we still want to be married this year."

Another big fat YES!

In May 2018 we ran away to Scotland with the three children in tow and eloped.

Pass my access course

"Last year I started an access course in Medical Science. I need to work my ass off this year to pass all of my units with merit or distinction in order to get where I want to be!"

I hate to say it but nope. This one has not been achieved. 

The provider of the course I was on had their funding pulled. Some students were moved over to another provider but I was unable to transfer my student loan over and it all went down the pan.

Still yet to decide what to do from here on in but I will come up with an amazing plan soon!

Apply to University

"And where I want to be is back at University! Big dreams to achieve."

See above.

New dreams to make. New paths to navigate.

Focus on my blog more

"This year, with a little more time on my hands when BB is at nursery, I am to make more of my blog and definitely keep things more consistent in 2018."

Didn't really happen.

But I'm here now....

Be more of a morning person

"But I really should make more of an effort to help out more in the morning!!"

Totally even forgot this was one of my goals. Ooops.

My hate of mornings is genetic and that's really hard to change.

Buy a decent camera

"I love photography but currently take all of my pictures on my humble little iphone 7!
I really want to take my pictures to the next level with a proper camera."

I do have a better camera but I find I always go back to using my phone for speed and convenience.

Finish decorating the house

"Last year we managed to decorate the lounge, dining room, kitchen and bathroom. We stripped the hall, stairs and landing ready to do many many months ago and it is all still in that state now."

We half achieved this. The hallway has been papered, woodwork has been painted, new light fittings up but we STILL need to paint some of the walls and lay new flooring. Its slow progress but progress all the same. 

Sort out the loft and the shed!

We've been saying this for years now and are always putting it off. It's one of those things that you can forget about and doesn't really affect you on a day to day basis so it's easy to not do.

We've been saying it for years and it never gets done. Last year was no different.
And this year is no different in that it is something that is back on our list of goals!

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